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Friday, May 11, 2012

SAHM and Wife's Ranthem!!

To my husband whom I adore but needs to understand more of what I do all day:

Here's a schedule of my day!  In case you forgot, my job is 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 52 weeks of the year.  I do NOT get paid vacation, I do NOT get sick days, I do NOT get a personal day, and I do NOT get a wonderful retirement at the end of my career path.

READ ON IF YOU DARE:

5:00am  baby wakes up crying.  i wake  you up and ask you to change the diaper so i don't nurse for an hour trying not to pee my pants.  you bring baby to bed and i prop up uncomfortably for a good 30 min and let this little thing suck and pull on my once perky and beautiful breast that now sag to the floor and are covered in the martyr lines and battle scars of birthing this little baby...stretch marks.

5:30am I beg you to please rock the baby so I can get some extra sleep.  After all you have to get up in 40 min to work and I do have to get up with the little one all day.  I'm sure  you are thinking that I get to sleep all day...wish it worked like that.

6:00am You leave for work and kiss me good-bye.  I pull the covers over my head and try to catch another 5-10 min of sleep.

6:10am The dogs have to pee. I get out of bed and let them outside. I realize that my breasts are like rocks and they must be pumped.  I get all the supplies washed and dried and set myself up to pump. This involves assembling puzzle like pieces and finding an outlet to plug into and washing more bottles to pump into and putting everything in order.  Then I realize the dogs are back inside but I'm already pumping and sitting there with nothing i can do other than hold these things to my saggy boobs (oh those stretch marks again) and wait for them to empty out into containers that I must then seal up and store in the freezer.

6:30am Pumping is done and baby wakes up before I completely get it all cleaned up.  I'll wash the parts later.  Time to get my cutie up for the day.  Change diaper, change clothing and find my phone in my bed.  Get dogs something to eat and let them back outside then sit down to nurse the baby again.  Dogs scratch at the door so i let them in still nursing my baby with boob hanging out for the neighbors to see. Finish nursing.

7:00am Playing with the cutie on the floor.  Trying to make him smile and keep him content.  Get him started on some back time on the floor with toys so I can work on last night's giant stack of dishes that weren't done.  Start putting some away when I hear baby crying.  Move baby to a bounce seat and try to work on dishes some more.  Crying again.  Move baby to the swing and work on dishes some more.  Crying again.  Move baby back to floor on tummy this time.  baby still freaking out.  realize it's been an hour and it's time to feed him breakfast.

8:10am mix rice cereal with breastmilk that was pumped earlier. warm it up then add fruit of choice.  baby shrieks and screams from being forced into captivity in his high chair while i stir it and taste it YUCKY to make sure it's not too hot.  Sit down to feed it to baby who gets it all over his sweet face and hands and then SCREAMS bloody murder at me while I try to clean it off.  Clean him up and nurse him for a quick drink.  Pull him off and pat him down for a nap since he's so cranky at this point he's completely beside himself and nothing I do will content him.  He finally drifts off to sleep and I realize that I've killed another hour of my day.

9:00am  Put baby down in crib.  Hold face in hands until he stops flailing.  Pray that he stays asleep for a few min.  Slowly walk out of room and close door.  Scamper back into kitchen to try and very quietly this time put away those dishes from last night.  Get them done and even have time to wipe down the counters and find spills of your coffee and creamer, your cheesey helper on the stove to wipe clean ext.  Realize the trash needs taken out but can't leave cutie alone inside the house for fear someone will run in my house and steal him away.  wish i had time to mop the floor and wipe down cabinets. oh another day....run down to see what our laundry situation looks like.  Clothes were left all night in the washer again and need rerun through since the heat of the summer makes them stink rotten if i don't.  rewash them.  Take the ones from the drier upstairs just in time to hear baby start to cry.  It's now been an hour and a half.

10:30am Get baby out of bed, change a diaper realizing the diaper pail is starting to reject diapers, again can't carry diaper trash and baby outside at the same time, carry baby back to the living room.  In the process must find cell phone, computer, and any other things I'll need close by.  He nurses while I catch up on texts or emails.  Researching baby feeding procedures, shot information, BPA free plastics, new car seat we'll never be able to afford, his insurance and dr. bills, sorting through breastfeeding information, questions about what to do with constipation, burping and puking too much, ext.  He finishes and wants to play.  I set him in the playroom and let him play for a bit.  I then have to use the bathroom.  By the time I finish in there he's crying again.  Didn't get a great nap in.  Wants another one but it's a fight to the death to get him to take one even though he's cranky and exhausted.  Finally he relaxes and goes to sleep.  It's been two hours now.

12:30pm  baby goes in crib again and I realize I have yet to eat a thing today.  go into kitchen to grab a meal.  i see huge stack of mail that hasn't been sorted and begin to thumb through coupons and bills and get rid of the junk mail and put things back in order.  I see your phone charger and go to return it to it's place which leads me into the living room to get my phone back on the charger in there since mine's dying.  then I realize the living room looks like babies r us exploded so i move all the baby bouncers and rockers and toys back into the play room.  i put away dog toys too. straighten up pillows that were never straightened up last night.  i put away pictures and books and magazines left out.  put away baby toys. and realize that the tv stand is very dusty.  i go back into the kitchen to the stack of bills i was working on to get dust stuff and set the dust stuff aside to finish sorting the mail.  baby starts crying.  it's been a half hour

1:00pm i change his diaper and take him into the kitchen and put him in his high chair.  I realize the dust stuff is still in there.  i fix him some veggie dinner and a bottle of milk and feed him the food, listen to him scream as i clean him up, then give him a bottle and burp until i'm covered in green puke.  then put him down in his jumperoo for a bit.  i go back into the kitchen  then i take the duster and dust all the living room and make my way into the playroom to dust too.  this makes me realize that it's a mess in there and i organize and straighten up baby's toys, books, clothing and more.  i need more diapers in my playroom bag so i sneak quietly into baby's room to get more.  i see a pile of clothes on the floor that need put away. i grab more diapers and run them back to the playroom.  i decide to get his to go bag ready for the next babysitter and get supplies back and forth. baby starts getting sick of the jumperoo and fussy and i realize that it's been another hour and a half

2:30pm i get baby and start to rock him to sleep again after much drama and crying of which i get up and stand and rock then sit down and rock then go outside and walk and talk and rock. finally he goes to sleep again as he desperately needs an afternoon nap as well.  i go to put him in his crib and he's not having that so i go through the whole process over again trying to get him down to nap.  this time i let him sleep on my body since he won't do anything else.  we both fall asleep since i'm starting to get tired and i nap about an hour with the worst position position to fall asleep in i can find and wake up with a huge kink in my neck and soreness.  he's still asleep so i move him to his swing hoping he'll stay down another hour. I realize that i haven't eaten yet so i make myself some lunch put it in microwave and see your cheese mess you left in there, wipe that out and warm up my meal, and sit down to eat it.

3:30pm baby wakes up. I go change a diaper and get him situated playing again.  i feel guilty that i haven't played with him all day so i sit down and read him a few books and play and hang out with him.  he gets mad and wants to eat.  we nurse together while my back aches because i'm still in the playroom on the floor.  i move to the sofa and find my lunch still there.  I try to eat with one hand and try to read an email or responses to my research in between bites. i may turn on the tv.  he finishes up and falls asleep again so i try to move him and once again he doesn't want moved.  he's so cranky that i know he needs his rest so again i'm a human bed and let him sleep on me.  when i think he's really out of it i try to put him down again this time on the couch beside me.  i might finish a show if i happened to turn the tv on while he slept and i was stuck there.

4:30pm as baby sleeps i check the laundry.  put some into the drier and bring up another load of dry clothing.  still haven't folded the other loads so i work on a few of those things and baby wakes up. change his diaper and phone rings,  it's you saying you are coming home from work now.  i take baby outside for the first time all day so he'll seem happy for you when you get here.  you find us smiling and giggling in the backyard playing outside.  dogs are happy to see you as well.  you change and shower and i get baby back inside.  you take him while i make dinner.  you nap usually at this point.  i get dinner ready and sometimes baby is napping so we eat in peace, most of the time we eat in tandem so one person enjoys while the other does baby duty.  then we feed baby his supper.

6:30pm baby finishes dinner to a fuss from wiping his face again and then nurses for a little while.  then he plays with you and me off and on until bath time.

7:30pm bath time arrives and i get him started on it.  some night you start him on it but usually holler at me to get his jammies or a diaper or towel.  together we make this happen and get him lotioned up and in jammies.  he had bad naps today so he wants to nurse again and go back to sleep.  i nurse and put him to bed.

8:00pm house is quiet. we decide to watch shows after one of us feeds the dogs and lets them outside.  their barking wakes the baby.  he pukes all over us both and finally goes back to sleep again.

9:30 we still haven't finished a show but you give up and go to bed.  i stay up and watch  the ending and then clean the living room up.  get the dishes ready to be washed the next day or wash them now why not.  Then I clean down the kitchen and get my pumping supplies in the sink for tomorrow.  I sometimes load the dishwasher and start it.  No matter what i do i'm still up late and there will still be more to do tomorrow.

10:45pm I sit down to relax on the computer for a bit. i talk to family on facebook, check emails, work on pampered chef orders, look for a job for tomorrow on aesop (subtitute teacher) find one and line up a baby sitter as well.  back up baby's bag and milk and get everything ready.

11:30pm i finish getting ready for tomorrow and come to bed.  i sit down on the toilet for the first time all day with no worries of the baby crying at me with no one to help me.  i think and think about my day. process it all out, read my book to escape it all, take my time and enjoy my emptying of my bowels.  Then I brush my teeth and hop in bed.  My head hits the pillow.  I push dogs out of the way.  You forgot to put them in the kennel yet again.  guess we won't have sex tonight.  we won't even kiss or cuddle. you are snoring since you've been passed out since 9:30pm.  Oh well. I think some more.

1:46am I finally fall asleep and awake at 6:15am to my cute crying son.  I nudge you to please do me a favor and get him for me.  Oh wait you are already gone to work.  My turn again.



This is kinda a look into my day.  It's not hardly everything.  I forget to mention that every time I change rooms i have to refind my phone.  I also don't mention that 60% of the things I'm cleaning up aren't mine.

I know you work hard.  I love you for that.  I do appreciate all you do for me and how tired you must be.  If you spent more time talking to about your day I'd prob realize how hard it is on you.  But for now, for this one time, this one's about ME and MY day.  And it would be nice to feel more appreciated too, and even nicer to get some flowers, or jewelry, or a day off to do something like get a massage you booked me. Or a pedicure.  Or a shopping spree.  Anything that you thought up all by yourself to treat me.  And yes we need more dinners together.  And more romance.  And it's hard with a baby and you and I are both too tired.  But hey, at least now you know how my day is spent.  That I do appreciate you...and that I deserve some appreciation and a little more understanding too.


AND I STILL NEED TO TAKE A SHOWER SOMETIME TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!