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Saturday, February 4, 2012

SAHM and GTWD

Here we are the wonderful world of SAHM (Stay at home moms) who give their everything to make the home wonderful and take care of their children.  Some call us home makers, housewives, domestic goddesses, what have you.  We are in charge of this household.  We have to keep the kids alive, the house from burning down, and the husband well...happy.

Then the story gets challenging, it's more than a boy meets girl story.  The SAHM meets the GTWD (Go to work dad).  He is handsome, helpful, outgoing, wonderful.  But he's also working 10 hour shifts every day to try and keep his family fed and clothed.  The SAHM loves her GTWD with all her heart and soul, but there are days when she complains to him that if only he'd just be home more.  Can he please talk to his bosses about moving to a location closer to home?  Can he please not work so many hours?  Will he ever be able to just spend all his time with her and their children?  Why? WAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

Maybe you have heard a similar story.  Maybe you get where I'm coming from here.  Anyone out there have a husband that works long hours and you know he's only doing it for you but you still feel like because of all those hours you're just not getting enough.  Every day off is a day of errands and things you can't do without him because of the new baby.  You never really have time to relax, play, enjoy each other's company without being stopped by the baby's needs or the need to get something done you never have a chance to do on a regular alone day.  You just need a honeymoon again or something like it.  Even an overnight together to get away from all your job duties (him=work, you=baby).  Life used to be easier you think to yourself.  You remember the day when you used to celebrate this giant pregnant body and look forward to the days of raising this perfect, happy infant together.  Then reality sets in.  The newborn is exhausting, needy, and takes up so much of that time you once spent doing fun things together.  Not only that but the newborn is expensive.  So that means if one of you is going to provide "free" childcare in the expense world, then one of you has to keep a really good job.  This might mean extra shifts, or a big promotion as was our case.  The promotion was such a glamorous thing at first.  Hey who doesn't like more money?  But with it came the transfer and more hours and much more stress and responsibility on the GTWD.  Now it's an hour commute every day, plus a 10-12 hour shift each of those days.  Life got harder on both of them.  Things in marital bliss started to slip a bit more and more each day.  SAHM felt like she was loosing more and more of herself as she hides away from the world.  She's loosing her sense of self in her sweat pants and pony tails with no make up on.  And GTWD is loosing himself in piles of work and killing himself to make a living so she doesn't have to worry.  But he worries.  He worries all the time.  Things are getting harder at work and he's scared that the big cuts and changes may trickle down and get him too eventually.  For now he's secure.  He's lucky that he was moved up right before all the changes took place.  They are both lucky.  In fact they don't realize how lucky they really are.  Their petty complaints about spending more time together are actually just whining, but they can't help it.  So where does a SAHM and GTWD go from here.  They really don't have a choice.  They just continue their roles and try to find time together.  Maybe grandma will help when she stays with them to help out.  Maybe in the future GTWD looks for another job?  Maybe SAHM also goes back to work and the little one ends up being raised by someone else?  Who knows what the future really holds.  But they know they have to hold onto one another and do their best.  And so continues the neverending saga that is modern life in 2012.  Be thankful you have a job at all.  And be even more thankful if you don't need to work to survive and get the unique and wonderful opportunity to be a home maker.  Never see each other and watch GTWD kill himself to provide.  But it's how it is.  Be happy, be thankful, and be satisfied you're alive and have everything you could ever dream of.  Just be HAPPY and Praise God for the blessings.

What a rant that was!

And here's a picture to show how awesome we all are as SAHM

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