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Sunday, February 19, 2012

Why Does Everyone Think They Know My Baby Better Than Me?

This post has been a long time coming but I'm finally ready to state the facts.  Everyone thinks they know more about your child than you do.  Your mom, your aunts, your father, uncles, cousins, other moms, friends, random old ladies esp. church ladies, random people in the grocery store, random people at the park, all the people who pass you by with your little one, and any woman who ever had a baby before.  They all think they know your baby better than you do as his/her mother. 

Well guess what people of the world...the truth is...NO ONE knows a baby better than their mother.

My child and I have a connection that started from the moment I conceived him and that connection runs way deeper than anything you think you have with my baby.  Not to mention he knows his mom better than you, he responds to his mom better than any other human and it's increasingly frustrating to hear someone constantly try and FIX a child that there is nothing wrong with.

Please people this baby isn't your baby, isn't your daughter's baby, your son's baby, your cousin's aunt Jenny's great-niece's friend's baby.  This is MY baby and I know what to do with him.  I may be a first time mom and a bit green, but I'm getting this kid figured out.  I spend 24/7 with him and I'd think I know what I'm doing.  I know if he has gas or a tummy ache (he doesn't).  I know when he's sick or fussing because he's just sleepy and needs a nap.  I know how to soothe him even if it take me a little while to get there.  I also know when he's colic and fussing non stop all day long if he's not asleep (hard to get him to do that) or eating (very very easy to get him to do that).   Just trust me everyone, unless I ASK you for advice, I don't want it.  When I ask for help with colic and how to handle it, I don't need to stop breast feeding, don't need to learn how to stop him from ever having gas, don't want your advice on how to give him all these weird things to do to keep him happy.  I want ideas on keeping him happy not changing every thing about him.  And please unless I ask you do not offer advice.  It's annoying, it drives me up the wall, and I'm getting tired of trying to politely decline or disagree with you people that think you are doctors or smarter than doctors or that doctors are trying to only make money off me and have never had kids themselves (YES most of them have).

Anyways that's my rant of the day and I really wish you would respect me as a mom and understand that I know my own baby and I can take care of him.  When I have a question I'll go to the doctor, nurses, friends, and Senor Google.  If I come to you please feel free to give me a little advice, but don't give more than asked for and don't push it if I don't think your advice is working or would work for my child.  No I will not just TRY it out, it won't work I've either already tried it, or I know well enough it's not going to work for us.

Thanks.

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Six Week FREAK OUT!

We've had a lot of trouble the last couple days.  About noon Sunday LAD started to fuss and he didn't stop the entire night and next day.  He was hard to get down for naps, impossible to hold and play with, hard to keep fed because he always wanted more, and just an all over difficult baby.  I knew it wasn't his fault, and I figured the hunger was brought on by a big growth spurt, but nonetheless I still got frustrated and exhausted and just wanted him happy again.  I kept clinging to these pictures on my phone taken minutes before the fall out of him grinning huge and so happy.  What had happened to my little happy baby.  The baby the would easily be soothed and always wanted to smile and talk to me?  It was horrible.  He cried no matter who held him and no matter how he was held.  He didn't like anything and believe me we tried all the tricks.  I finally went to my best friend Senor Google.  Senor Google told me that lots of moms out there experienced a six week fall out.  It's a growth spurt age that makes a starving and cranky child.  After learning that it was much easier to realize that soon it would all be over with and he'd be on the road to a happier baby and sleeping through the night (eventually).  You know it's so hard with the sleeping thing, I thought our new bath routine was really working because he was sleeping almost 5 hours a night.  Then the six week fallout came and it's barely two-three hours again.  I struggle daily with wanting to give up breastfeeding because not only is he still not sleeping good, but I'm STILL cracked to all hell on the right side.  I've tried nastatin ointment, triple antibiotic ointment, something I'd never heard of called Gentian Violet.  Nothing is really working.  Still huge crack and still very sore....will it ever end?  And I know moms who use formula are already enjoying a full night's sleep.  I wish it were me.  But I also learned a new manta from another Senor Google search.  "NEVER GIVE UP ON YOUR WORST DAY, ONLY GIVE IT UP ON YOUR BEST DAY!" So onward we press still breastfeeding every two hours, still exhausted, but still very much in love and awe of what I have created and am starting to raise, and teach.  More on teaching later...

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

MONSTER BALLADS

Went to the doctor today for my first 6 week post partum check up.  Everything is great.  We got the green light to resume our romantic relationship which was a huge relief to my DH (darling husband).  6 weeks was torture for the both of us.  I don't know if you other moms can remember those weeks of misery.  Sleep deprivation, angry, frustrated, grouchy, beginning to wonder if you married an alien because you can't remember anything about them that's the same anymore.  Anyways the dry spell has finally ended much to both our satisfaction and happiness.

We have also broken new ground in establishing a bedtime routine.  Feed, bath, story, rocking, bed.  And it's working.  We've also discovered our son must have reflux because after starting him on prevacid we've had wonderful three-four hour sleep sessions with intermittent night feedings in between, but no more horrible screaming up all night moments thus far.  And no more puking load after load of spit up all over everyone and everything.  Sure he still spits up, but believe me it's less than it was.

So anyways after another bedtime routine done and gone and a sweet angelic baby sleeping in his pack n play bassinet next to our bed we decided what lullaby CD to play.  Normally our go to music of choice is always an edition of Rockabye Baby with our favorite classic rock ballads in lullaby form.  I almost reached for Journey's edition, but stopped short realizing that if I had to listen to lullaby anything the mood I wanted for "later" would NOT be happening.  So what's a mom to do?  Baby has to have soft music to sleep to, and momma has to have sexy time music of some capacity.

I grabbed Monster Ballads.  The greatest CD ever invented anyway for it's vast array of beautiful classic rock ballads.  It worked like a charm.  It gave my son his lullaby and he's still sleeping nearly two and a half hours later, and it gave my DH and I some much needed romantic music for our rekindle.

I'm now hoping for a week full of smiles and goofy childplay between DH and I.  Hoping for less grouchy and more groping.  Less cranky and more hanky panky.  And hopefully a happier more harmonies household that not only has it's fire relit, but also has it's sleep tanks refueled by the new sleep we are getting finally.

Thanks again for reading my babbles. Hope you enjoy...no really...get off the computer and go grab your significant other and make some time to have you own Monster Ballads sessions.


Saturday, February 4, 2012

SAHM and GTWD

Here we are the wonderful world of SAHM (Stay at home moms) who give their everything to make the home wonderful and take care of their children.  Some call us home makers, housewives, domestic goddesses, what have you.  We are in charge of this household.  We have to keep the kids alive, the house from burning down, and the husband well...happy.

Then the story gets challenging, it's more than a boy meets girl story.  The SAHM meets the GTWD (Go to work dad).  He is handsome, helpful, outgoing, wonderful.  But he's also working 10 hour shifts every day to try and keep his family fed and clothed.  The SAHM loves her GTWD with all her heart and soul, but there are days when she complains to him that if only he'd just be home more.  Can he please talk to his bosses about moving to a location closer to home?  Can he please not work so many hours?  Will he ever be able to just spend all his time with her and their children?  Why? WAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

Maybe you have heard a similar story.  Maybe you get where I'm coming from here.  Anyone out there have a husband that works long hours and you know he's only doing it for you but you still feel like because of all those hours you're just not getting enough.  Every day off is a day of errands and things you can't do without him because of the new baby.  You never really have time to relax, play, enjoy each other's company without being stopped by the baby's needs or the need to get something done you never have a chance to do on a regular alone day.  You just need a honeymoon again or something like it.  Even an overnight together to get away from all your job duties (him=work, you=baby).  Life used to be easier you think to yourself.  You remember the day when you used to celebrate this giant pregnant body and look forward to the days of raising this perfect, happy infant together.  Then reality sets in.  The newborn is exhausting, needy, and takes up so much of that time you once spent doing fun things together.  Not only that but the newborn is expensive.  So that means if one of you is going to provide "free" childcare in the expense world, then one of you has to keep a really good job.  This might mean extra shifts, or a big promotion as was our case.  The promotion was such a glamorous thing at first.  Hey who doesn't like more money?  But with it came the transfer and more hours and much more stress and responsibility on the GTWD.  Now it's an hour commute every day, plus a 10-12 hour shift each of those days.  Life got harder on both of them.  Things in marital bliss started to slip a bit more and more each day.  SAHM felt like she was loosing more and more of herself as she hides away from the world.  She's loosing her sense of self in her sweat pants and pony tails with no make up on.  And GTWD is loosing himself in piles of work and killing himself to make a living so she doesn't have to worry.  But he worries.  He worries all the time.  Things are getting harder at work and he's scared that the big cuts and changes may trickle down and get him too eventually.  For now he's secure.  He's lucky that he was moved up right before all the changes took place.  They are both lucky.  In fact they don't realize how lucky they really are.  Their petty complaints about spending more time together are actually just whining, but they can't help it.  So where does a SAHM and GTWD go from here.  They really don't have a choice.  They just continue their roles and try to find time together.  Maybe grandma will help when she stays with them to help out.  Maybe in the future GTWD looks for another job?  Maybe SAHM also goes back to work and the little one ends up being raised by someone else?  Who knows what the future really holds.  But they know they have to hold onto one another and do their best.  And so continues the neverending saga that is modern life in 2012.  Be thankful you have a job at all.  And be even more thankful if you don't need to work to survive and get the unique and wonderful opportunity to be a home maker.  Never see each other and watch GTWD kill himself to provide.  But it's how it is.  Be happy, be thankful, and be satisfied you're alive and have everything you could ever dream of.  Just be HAPPY and Praise God for the blessings.

What a rant that was!

And here's a picture to show how awesome we all are as SAHM