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Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Adventures in NO SLEEP LAND

We are still waking up about 2-4 times every night.  My son is addicted...yes ADDICTED to breastfeeding.  I have probably screwed him up for life by allowing him to always comfort nurse and letting him nurse himself to sleep.  And because I refused to let him "cry it out" he's always been rocked and nursed to sleep and even back to sleep again, and again, and AGAIN.  I'm exhausted, I'm so tired of nursing, and I wish it was all behind us and he was just sleeping soundly through about 12 hours of night time.  But you know what, on the bright side he is a beautiful angel and won't always want to nurse or be held or rocked by me.  So even though it's 3am and I'm a total zombie, I'm going to love on this baby as long as I can.  When he goes and marries that bratty girl that I hate and leaves his mommy in the dust for someone else's bust, well I'm going to miss him and ache for him and wish he was still my sweet little boy.  So what if I stay in my pajamas until noon or later and just cuddle him up and take two hour naps in my bed with him.  So what if I'm a zombie before the afternoon sun is going.  I love my baby, and I am willing to sacrifice a few years of all nights sleep to keep him happy, healthy, and knowing that he's my #1 and loved.  So if you see me out and about and I stink or have totally forgotten makeup and a hairdo again, please smile and tell me I look great and smell beautiful.  I'll smile back and tell you my new fragrance is baby snot and puke.  Anyways, at least for today, I'm learning to get going, love life, and occasionally I do get a shower...most days. :)

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